Victoria Stitch lands with a bump onto the hard stone floor of an old fashioned looking kitchen. There is a pretty girl sitting by the fireplace with a soot smudge on her face.
'You must be my fairy Godmother!' exclaims the girl.
Victoria Stitch stands up, brushing the dust from her dress.
'I most certainly am not!' she retorts. 'I am Victoria Stitch and I am the Queen!'
'I know,' answers Victoria Stitch. 'And then she'll give you a nice sparkly dress and some glass slippers and send you to the ball!'
'Well not tonight!' Victoria Stitch says with a sudden flourish. 'For tonight I want to wear the sparkly dress and go to the ball! After all I am the Queen!'
Then before you can say 'crystal stillettos' she takes off her dress, tears it into strips and uses it to tie Cinderella to the chair. Then she skips gleefully out of the kitchen and shuts the door behind her.
'Why in the name of spinning bats are you standing there in your underwear dear girl!?' She asks.
'Oh you poor darling!' cries the Fairy Godmother. 'We'll soon remedy that!'
She waves her wand three times and pokes Victoria Stitch in the tummy.
Victoria Stitch finds herself standing in a giant pumpkin suit.
'Oh dear,' worries the little old lady. 'I think I'm a bit rusty.'
She pokes Victoria Stitch again and this time a beautiful dress begins to weave itself around her, dripping with orange glitter and positively breathing magic.
'Don't ruin it now!' Warns the Fairy Godmother. 'Now all you have to do is go down to the bottom of the garden and fetch me a pumpkin, two white mice and a spotted newt. Hmm, yes that should be all. And bring then here to me.'
'What?!' exclaims Victoria Stitch. 'In this dress?'
'Well you do have a point,' murmurs the Fairy Godmother. She picks up her skirts and totters down the garden to the vegetable patch herself and pokes her wand at a pumpkin. Immediately it begins to transform, its orange skin stretching and shining in the moonlight, the green vines twisting and curving to become wheels and spokes.
The Fairy Godmother pokes her wand again at two conveniently placed white mice. they begin to grow and become twitchy faced horses.
The pumpkin carriage stands in all its glory, glowing and waiting with two white horses to pull it and one spotty, spluttering man to drive it.
'Now there's one more thing,' the Fairy Godmother begins. 'You must leave the ball before midnight or...'
'otherwise my dress will disappear,' finishes Victoria Stitch. 'I know. It's fine, I've got my nice underwear on.'
She steps into the carriage.
'Oh by the way,' she continues, 'These glass shoes, they're a bit tight.'
'Well that's odd,' says the fairy Godmother. 'You are Cinderella aren't you?'
'Oh yes!' replies Victoria Stitch.
The Fairy Godmother smiles and shuts the carriage door.
'Well off you go then!' she smiles. 'Have a splendid time my dear! Now I really must go and check on that peculiar noise coming from the kitchen, it sounds like the cat is stuck in there or something.'
Then she sticks her head out of the window and watches the starry sky fly by as the carriage glides away towards the Palace...
(all writing and images are copyright to me)